I would like to commend you on your efforts to raise the nutritional level of our nation's school lunch program. I understand that your efforts have considerably improved the content of our public school dumpsters, and would like to personally thank you for the wise expenditure of my hard earned tax dollars.
Being a concerned mother, as well, i am a tad uncertain as to how to implement a higher nutritional standard in my own kitchen, and am hoping that you would be willing to share the particular threats, bribes or tortures you use in your own home to make your family consume all that organic produce you grow out back in the White House kitchen garden, and how they manage to stay upright on so few calories.
I make every effort to provide healthy food three times a day, cooking from scratch, using as few commercially prepared ingredients as possible (except for Ranch Dressing Mix,) and spend countless hours and untold expense preserving the fruits of our labor on this humble homestead, in order to maintain a pantry full of sustenance free of growth hormones, genetically modified organisms and pesticides, as i am not a proponent of the "Better living through chemicals" way of thinking. I find it difficult, however, to sell the fresh, raw vegetables in my own home unless they are covered in cheese, gravy, or Ranch Dressing.
Perhaps i could illustrate my dilemma with an anecdote.
On a recent afternoon, i set out a luscious bowl of baby field greens (i just cannot say "baby field greens" without thinking of the movie "Intolerable Cruelty" where the yuppy lawyer sits down in a greasy spoon diner and orders "A salad please, baby field greens," and the cranky waitress gives him the stink eye and says, "What did you call me?" I just love those Cohen brothers, don't you?) along with grated carrot and some breaded chicken breast for protein.
Ellie May chose two lettuce leaves, eight carrot shreds, and half of the chicken breast that i had prepared for three salads. She then piled the plate with homemade macaroni and cheese.
Oddly, even though i talk myself blue in the face trying to get them to enjoy those fresh veggies, my children are not overweight. I am going to assume this would be because they are not spending two-thirds of their day sitting at a desk or in front of a television. Rather, they are learning hard work and responsibility with a full complement of physical chores that keep them very active and out in the fresh air and sunshine.
So i am willing to overlook a little mac-n-cheese, as long as it doesn't come out of a box. Someday, after their digestive systems fully mature, they will understand the benefit of a big pile of baby field greens (what did you call me?) In the meantime, i will just have to serve kid friendly fare that is made from scratch, rather than the prepackaged chemical concoctions that make some lives so much easier. Hope that is okay with you.
You can lead a horse to water, Michelle, but you cannot make him drink.
'Nuff said.
Sincerely,
Chickory Blossom
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