BFF

I am so proud.

This is the very first picture that i have downloaded from my camera onto this blog, all by myself  (the donkey shots were all Susan's, and she held my hand to get them posted.  Thank you Susan, dear Susan.) 

Never mind that it is not the picture i wanted to post today.   Never mind that it took me all day to do it.  Never mind that the "file" took a very circuitous route to get here.

I have downloaded a picture from my camera to the blog.

Aren't you proud, too, Natalie?  I am revving up the engine on the orange Vega with brown doors and bald tires.  Wooo Hoooo Baby!!!!!

This is one of my favorite goatie pictures.  I call it "Best Friends Forever"  because this was quite the trio in the doe yard.  Lucy on the left, is no longer at Tails Up.  Last fall she and Ren went north about 60 miles to another homestead.  We sure hated giving her up, she has such a great personality, but that was one of those hard decisions that had to be made.  And we know she has a great new home.  In the middle is my beloved Chickory Blossom.  You can be sure this will not be the last picture you see of that spoiled brat.  And on the right is herd queen and baby maker extraordinaire, Lace.

I was hoping to introduce you to George and Ralph today.  Now that we have the download thing figured out, we will try it again tomorrow!!

The Last Delivery

The last delivery of the season was a doooooooozzzzey.

Legacy is actually Susan, dear Susan's goat, but is here at Tails up because she is not in the best of health, and needed a little of what we had to offer, here. 

Legacy is the coolest goat.  I fell in love as soon as i met her, and every time i saw her, told her if she ever ran away from home she was to run to my house.  I have always said that Legacy should have been named after the Hallmark cards character, i think her name is Maxine, the old broad with curlers and fuzzy slippers that tells it like it is.  That is Legacy.  She likes Mountain Dew (but she doesn't get that here,) whole bananas, and smoking.   At the burn barrel that is.  Whenever something is being burned, Legacy will park next to the burn barrel with her chin on the rim and inhale the smoke for as long as anything is smoldering.  And if she likes you she will lick you like a dog.  She is a wise Grande Dame, and is the Great Equalizer in the doe yard.  I adore this goat.  All the more because she is my beloved Chickory Blossom's grandmother.   But she is something of a tart.  A hussy, if you will.

One of the reasons she came here is that Susan's place is a buck rich environment, and we really didn't want to tax Legacy's body with breeding and milk production.  Best laid plans, and all that.  Last fall Moon jumped the fence, and there was a very short little rendezvous.  But apparently it was long enough. 

I wasn't even sure she was bred until the last couple of days, and all of a sudden this morning she was in labor.

It was a very difficult birth, the baby was not only breech, but upside down, with the umbilical cord wrapped around it twice.  Ellie May scrubbed up, gloved up, and went in to try to reposition him, but that wasn't happening, so she delivered him as he presented. 

We are delighted to announce that the 8.5# buck (as yet to be named, we need to check and see if there is a Slipknot, Texas) is doing well, as is Legacy, although she is rather weary at the moment.  We are plying her with treats and attention, and she seems content with this.

Yet another exciting day at Tails Up Homestead.

Weeeeeeeee Weeeee Weeeeee Weeeeeeeeeeeee <<<<<waving my pinwheels>>>>

Meet The Runners....Jesse and Owens

A couple of years ago, Ellie May and i read a book about the homesteading adventures of a middle aged, solitary "geek" that married an earth mother type with a thing for birds and rescue animals called "Enslaved By Ducks."  Very amusing book if you ever need something to read for fun.



Back in the fall when Susan, dear Susan and I had our big lamb butchering adventure, we here at Tails Up aquired some ducks.  When the lady that raised the lambs called to tell us they were ready, she said she had 4 or 5 drakes that she would give to anyone that would butcher them.  Susan's people are not duck eaters, but i love it, and while my family has not eaten it, i am pretty sure they will like it, and i told her i would love to have them.

I show up at Susan's house on butchering day, and look in the back of the trailor to find 10 (!) drakes.  Don't know if you have any experience with ducks, but they, as chickens, tend to be filthy nasty creatures.  Gonna be a long, smelly ride home.  And a long day of butchering when i get there.  After the initial shock wore off, i noticed that there were two different types of ducks:  muscovies, which we have had before, and are definitely meat ducks; and Indian Runners, with which i had no experience.  They didn't seem to have enough meat on them to make them worth the effort, but they were insanely adorable--yellow bills, orange feet, long white necks and little brown vests, with  a single curly tail feather, and the most goofy facial expressions.  And then they start running around...oh my gosh, WHAT CLOWNS!!!!!  The muscovies i could eat, but those runners...nope, too cute for me to put a bullet in.  Way more valuable for the entertainment factor.

Anyway, i got home butchernite, backed the van up to the brooder house and unloaded the ducks, then put the lamb in the freezer.  I went in the house, and told Ellie May and Jethro to go have a look in the brooder house. 

When Ellie May came in i asked, "Aren't the runners cute?" and she hangs her head and grumbles, "I have been enslaved by ducks."  i said, "But aren't they cute?" and she repeated, a little more tersely, "I have been Enslaved By Ducks."  and i, a little more excited, "i know, but aren't they cute?" and she, "I HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED BY DUCKS!!!!"  i, "But did you see how cute they were?" and finally she, "Who's going to have to take care of them??!!??" and i replied, "Well, they will be on Jethro's chore list."  to which the response was, "OH MY GOSH,  they are SOOOOOO ADORABLE!!!!"

I went out every morning and started my day with laughter as i watched those goofballs do their thing...they just kill me.  We had a couple of duck rodeos while they were figuring out that the pond was home and the dogs wouldn't eat them, and that was good for a few laughs as well. 

Then, for a while, the group became "Ducks of the World."  They started trapsing down the road every day, returning every evening.  We tried corraling them out of the bar ditch for a while, then just let them be.   Every now and then they would come home one short.  Then one day, they didn't come back at all. 

I was bummed.  These guys had been such a light in my day.  But, they were, after all, Ducks of the World.  Can't tie them down. 

Christmas morning, i got a present.  I went out to do barn chores, and there, on the pond, were two runners.  They have been here ever since.  Am guessing they were like Scuffy The Tugboat, who figured out that life in the bathtub of the man with the polkadot tie was just the life he was meant for. 

Now they wait for me at the doe barn every morning, then waddle at quite a clip ahead of me to the pond for treats.  I have named them Jesse and Owens.  Can see always having a couple of runners on the farm.

I hear you have never had an omlette until you have had a duck egg omlette. 

So now we are in the market for some girls.

Lacewatch '11 Is Offcially Over!!

They're Here!! They're Here!!

Two Bucks and a Doe!!!

Sparta checked in at 12:00pm sharp, 8 1/2 #

Troy joined us at 12:20, 8#

Paris arrived at 12:40, 7#

Mama and Babes all doing well.

YIPEEEEEEE Only one more doe to go!!!!!!!

Lacewatch '11

Still watchin'. 

If she knew how funny she looked when she lays down she would spit those babies right out.

Maybe she is waiting for Legacy.

Meet Donkey Xote and Sancho Panza

Isn't this a great shot?  How does that happen?  Only for Susan, dear Susan, i assure you!!  Xote and Sancho were only 2 or 3 months old when this picture was taken.  We all went out to visit a friend of Susan's to see her llama's, and of course her donkeys.  Who knew that by the end of the summer these guys would be at our place? 

Together, with Osama bin Llama, they have been the "Field Operations" of our Livestock Guardian Team, and have done a Superior job.  Unfortunately, we had to split up the team on this past Christmas Eve.  Xote and Sancho are now about 4 years old, had reached maturity, and become, shall we say, rather randy, and i was afraid they were gonna hurt each other, so we found a new home for Xote.  And what a blessing it was, Xote now has a better home and more attention that he had here!!  I knew the lady that got him was the right fit when she showed up to meet him with carrots in her pocket.  Even better because she already had a jenny, and we hear that Xote and Izzy are getting along famously!

One of my top ten all time favorite books has always been Don Quixote, so, when given the opportunity, of course i had to name a donkey....Xote, with his loyal companion, Sancho Panza.  As fate would have it, the names were perfect for them-Xote is capricious and oblivious, and definitely the one thinking up the plan. Sancho is short and grumpy, (and rather lippy,)  but always right there behind Xote. 

They are very well socialized, if you are in the pasture, they were right by your side.  Sancho still is, of course.  When i go out to feed Jessie and Owens, Sancho, who is usually at the lower end of the property in the mornings, will come running up the pasture, braying and calling "Wait, wait, i'm coming!!" to get his share of whatever is being doled out that morning.  

Smack dab in the middle of our pasture is a HUGE, very old oak tree.  We call it the Grand Oak.  For a while after we moved here, i used to try to go read under the Grand Oak, but finally gave up because there was no peace there.  If i took off my shoes, they were stolen and carried up to the barn.  My bookbag would be lifted or the hat removed from my head and taken off who knows where.  The stinkin' donks even tried to cart off my chair when i got up one time.  And don't even think about trying to picnic.

On the LGA side of things, they hate snakes as much as i do (i believe in Lewis Grizzard's theory that there is only one kind of snake in the United States, the Copper Headed Water Rattler) and seem to also hold to the theory that the only good snake is a dead snake, so i have been pleased to find on many occasions, pancake snakes, complements of my good boyz. 

The team has also kept the feral hogs and coyotes out of the pasture, though not out of the surrounding fields.  That is what the dogs, are for, more on that later.  Although i will take this opportunity to mention the Great Pyrennes mix we aquired about the same time as Xote and Sancho.  Her name was The Fair Lady Dulcinea.  (If we ever get a horse it will be named Rozinante.)  Dulcie was a great girl-exellent guardian, and the only dog i ever knew that would smile when she greeted you--intimidating unless you knew what she was doing!  She went out with her boots on, defending her home from the coyotes.   We heard the fight, but didn't realize what was happening until it was too late.  She is missed.

One of my favorite little pleasures on the homestead is when all the LG team starts singing.  Except for Osama, of course.  He just stares at all the plebs with disdain.  But the chorus starts with Sancho (or Xote, in other days) braying, and then the dogs join in with howling.  They just go on and on, and it is the funniest thing.  If Ellie May and Jethro and i are out there, we join in as well.  Wish you could hear it.  It's amazing!!  Almost as moving as Handel, in it's own special way.

Lacewatch '11

<<<Yawn>>>

Whatever.

A Picture Worth a Thousand Words

Susan, Dear Susan took this picture the day Xote and Sancho were delivered (fall 2008 i think,) then sent me a hard copy.  This was the first picture that was hung in my Custome Home.  My (family friendly) preferred caption for this picture is "Which one is the donkey?"  but i am not using it here because those of you that do not know Uncle Jed will think that i am being ugly and disrespectful.  Those of you that do know Uncle Jed can quit laughing now, pick yourself up off the floor and get back in your chair.  The really funny part of this scene took place about 15 seconds after the picture was snapped.  Susan picked up a spent shotgun shell that was on the ground in front of her (there was a LOT of trash everywhere when Jed bought the place, but that is a story for another day) and chunked it at Sancho's hind quarter, which made him start forward suddenly, and well, so did Jed.  Ahhh, Memories.   The sweet stuff in life.

(Come on now, after living with Jed for almost 20 years, am i not allowed one little jab for the sake of a laugh?)

Lacewatch '11

Nope.  Nuthin' yet.  Just a big ol' lump a Lace.

<<<tapping fingers and toes>>>

Big Pink Mama

No, not me!!! Shame on you!!!
 
Once the kids get up and running, they are just like any other children...you can never fill them up!  There is a short span of time in the process where we do nothing but milk does and feed babies all day. It gets REAL old REAL quick.  But then comes the glorious day when we introduce them to BIG MAMA.
Big Mama is a pink five gallon bucket with 10 nipples that we use to feed everyone all at once.  It is a little work to get them trained to it, but once they get it, life on the farm becomes a whole heck of a lot easier.  All we gotta do is walk out there four times a day and dump a gallon of milk in her, and then just sit back and enjoy the babies.  No more milk spots on your glasses, no stiff spots on your shirt from the spills last time you fed.  No more shock when you look in the mirror and for a brief ignosecond think you have leprosy because of the dried milk on your face that you have been walking around with all day and nobody mentioned it to you.  Ahhhhhhh.  Such luxury to have Big Mama to do the work for you.  If ony she did windows.

Yesterday was training day.  Today, they are on their own.  This is the day when you find out which kids have the brains, and which kids are gonna need a little assistance in life.  Today's winner is......Maud!!!  She is the first one of the bunch to figure out that the Diner is OPEN full time, and boy, was she excited!  My bet is that Lace will give us something else to do now that Big Mama has freed up some of our time.

We have started calling Maud  "Pippi" because of her pigtail ears, and because she has one stocking up and one stocking down.  And she is full of fun.  She is gonna be one of this year's keepers, along with Splendora.  Although Utopia make LOOK more like our beloved Doodles, Splendora has more of her personality, and a great little conformation, to boot!

So we are keeping Maud and Splendora, we lost Harrold, and placed White Lily with the family that bought Ren and Lucy last fall.  That leaves Utopia; Splendora's brother, Veribest; and Lily's brother, Cut & Shoot.
He is our only wether so far this year.  I thought that was kinda a funny name for a wether, but Jed & Jethro weren't too impressed.  Must be a guy thing.  Ellie May calls him Snippy.   The Clampitt's are a sick and twisted lot.

During the naming process, Ellie & Jethro lobbied hard to name Lily and Snippy "Dimmit and Ding Dong."  I told them that Dimmit was out of the question, but if they could find a Twinkie, Texas, they could use Ding Dong.  First thing the next morning...as i am making coffee, and still bleary eyed...Ellie comes to the kitchen chirping, "Well, there wasn't a Twinkie, Texas, but i did find a Little Debbie!"  To which i reply, "Oh good, that will work."  It took me a couple of seconds before i realized what had just happened, and as i turned back to her i just glimpsed the wheels turning, and the "wonder if she will give me the keys to the car?" look in her eye.  I am gonna have to watch myself in the mornings before coffee.  That child just might take advantage of me.

No Comment

I have had more fun with the comments y'all have sent in the last two days, and i thought i might share some of them with you, since i have only just now figured out how to allow comments on the blog.  Think i got that thing fixed, so if ya got something to say, shout it out and let's see if i might actually be making headway on this technology thing.  Come on, when i said i started a blog...ME, might i remind you...you KNEW there were gonna be a few glitches along the way, right?  Let me know if i got it fixed. ok?

Here are some of my favorite comments pulled from emails:

 I love it!  And you're ahead of me - I don't have a blog!  But Ellie May and Jethro???

LOL - a blog of all things.

omg. hilarious!  the mental picture of you and Susan hoisting that poor animal up in the tree had me rolling on the floor!   do I think I'll be slaughtering my own meat, nay I say, but I can sure enjoy your stories!

i would like a conversian van that seats eight with DVD player instead of a cadillac

Thanks for the warning....and I'm glad I took the advice.  I'm still not believing it!!!  But I've read it all and think it's great!!

and my personal favorite.....
A blog?!?!?!?  You don't even know how to check your voicemail!!!!  You make me laugh.

And You All made me laugh....Thank You.

P.S.  If i got the comments thingy fixed, i am gonna try my hand at posting pictures next.  No, really!!

Lacewatch '11

Large grey object with roiling sides sighted moving about doe yard and issuing demands for cookies and Swedish fish.

But no small grey objects detected.

Stay tuned.

Homage to the Queen, and By Request

Homage to the Queen 
Before we go any further in this blogging process, let me just state for the record, that any recipes given here, unless noted otherwise, most likely came from Susan, dear Susan, the Guru of All Things Homestead.  She has been my Fairy Goatmother, mentor, and friend.  She produces amazing things on her homestead, and is constantly experimenting and studying up to find the best way to.....well....do anything having to do with living a self-sustaining lifestyle.  She has taught me much, and is always my first phone call after i have done everything i know to do and still haven't figured it out. We are "sister herds," Susan running predominantly Goldthwaite bloodlines while i run the Kastdemur line, with a common goal of producing a first class homestead milker (high milk production, "easy to use" udders, and disease / parasite resistant animals) under her Queenacres brand.  So, hat's off to Susan , dear Susan, folks.  I luvs ya, sister!

By Request
Have had a request for the lamb sausage recipe.

Guess where the recipe came from.

Yup.  This is the recipe that Susan uses to make her pork sausage.  I am gonna give it to you just like she gave it to me, so you get to play with it and adjust according to your personal taste and the type of meat you are using.  Example:  for the lamb, and my family, i used less cayenne and more ginger, clove and mace.

Here is the interesting thing about sausage.  You can make it from just about any kind of meat.  For years, i had a meat grinder attachment that i never used because i just didn't get this.  What a waste!   When Susan taught me to make sausage, we used a tough old rooster that we had just put out of our misery (he was mean, and no one was sorry to see him on the table) mixed with some brisket for fat content.  It was amazing!  And every time we fried it up and took a bite, the kids said, "Take that!" and "That's what you get for spurring me one too many times!"

When brisket goes on sale i buy a few for the freezer, then have them for sausage making as needed.  I haven't taken the time to try it yet, but bet you can do this on a small scale in a food processor, if you don't have a grinder.   Be not afraid.  Be Bold.  Experiment, you are not gonna screw it up. 

And TRUST ME,

this stuff is gonna make you wanna

throw rocks at Jimmy Dean.

SUSAN'S PERFECT HOMEMADE SAUSAGE

22# ground pork and fat (about 70/30)
7T sea salt
1c rubbed sage
1t each:   paprika
              cayenne
              ground clove
              ground ginger
              ground thyme
              savory
              mace
              nutmeg
              black pepper

Cut meat and fat into cubes, chill for at least an hour.  Sprinkle seasoning over meat cubes then grind wit a coarse plate.  Make a patty and fry it up to check seasoning.  Make any adjustments in seasoning and run through the grinder a second time.            


On the subject of cooking lamb, let me also suggest a couple of cookbooks Susan turned me on to.  First of all, if you can look at the picture of Mable Hoffman on the back of her 1975 Crockery Cookery and not feel instantly comforted and have absolute faith in every recipe in the book, i just don't know how to help you.  For heaven's sake, the woman has an entire cookbook devoted completely to peanut butter, and another with nothing but cookies.  Need i say more??!!!???  You can have Julia and Paula.*  MY heart belongs to Mable.

Another book of interest is The Progressive Farmer's 1967 Favorite Recipes From Southern Kitchens MEATS including Seafood and Poultry.  I have had very good luck with the lamb recipes from this book, and there is also a good venison chapter.  I have not yet cooked from the Variety Meats section of this book, but if i am ever hungry enough to eat squirrel or oxtail, i know where to find a recipe.

Bon Appetit, y'all!!

*We don't have TV at my house, so i stay pretty out of the loop when it comes to pop culture and current trends.  Several years ago, my dad, who is an excellent cook, started sharing recipes and techniques every now and then from "My good friend, Paul Adeen."  I kept thinking, "i gotta meet this guy, this stuff is good!"  Until one day, about a year ago, standing at the checkout counter at the grocery store, i see big white hair and diamonds on the front of a food magazine.  And suddenly realize that there is no such person as Paul Adeen, and that my dad may need to get out more.

Lace Update

Still carrying around all those kids.  Is just about as wide as she is long; huffs and puffs; has to stop and rest every third step.  But won't let go of them. 

It was suggested yesterday that we load her up and take her to a friend's for some time on the trampoline. 

I told her this morning that she better start thinking about cutting them loose or else they are gonna weigh 10 pounds a piece, and boy is she gonna be sorry.  She just gave me the "Are you gonna put alfalfa in this manger today or not?" look.

Sigh. 

Makin' Baaaaacon

Dateline:  October 2010

Ok, so we don't eat pork at my house.  i find that the only things i really miss are breakfast sausage and bacon.  Must have something to do with the way i was raised.  Ever since we gave up pork, i have been looking for a suitable substitute for these delicacies, and let me just state for the record that turkey ham is doable, but turkey bacon?  Why bother. 

Have been experimenting with various kosher meats to try to come up with suitable replacement for these meats, and lamb seems to do it.  In fact, i have developed a lamb sausage recipe that is better than any breakfast sausage i have ever eaten.  Except for, MAYBE, Blue & Gold, the one the FFA sells.

Susan, dear Susan and i have been working toward buying sheep, for meat  purposes only, but it has been one thing after another the last couple of years, and we just haven't done it.  Mostly because we are both trying to keep closed herds, and with sheep and goats both being caprine animals, diseases can cross species, and neither one of us wants to risk our herd, obviously...anyway, Susan called me last spring and said she found someone who was of a like mind in raising food, i.e. didn't vaccinate, no hormones, no chemicals, fertilizers, etc.  All she raised was sheep, fed only on mothers milk and clean grass.  Just as God intended. So we bought a lamb and gave it a whirl.  Both families liked it (in fact Jethro loved it, calls it the best red meat ever.  First time i made lamb chops, he ate his, most of Ellie May's, and half of mine,) so we put in an order for 2 more. 

The lamb lady calls to tell us the woolies were ready, and i head off to Susan, dear Susan's homestead for butchering day.   Now, let me tell ya, fellers...you have not lived until you have seen two fat, menopausal women trying to hoist a lamb carcass up in a tree to gut it.  Somebody missed out on the $10,000 prize that day.  But we persevered got both lambs dressed and packaged up in pretty cuts of meat. 

Lamb is luscious, we have had some wonderful meals with it.  I find that my people like it best simply roasted with a little olive oil, garlic and rosemary.  It just slays me when i see a smallish leg of lamb at the grocery store for upwards of $50, and i know that i put a whole lamb in the freezer for that and a solid mornings work.
Susan dear Susan's people believe that the 5 food groups are beef, pork, chicken, turkey, and caprine, and boy, does she know how to cook them all!!!  She had just butchered a pig and was going to smoke bacon for her family, so i left some of our lamb for her to throw in the batch. 

Oh, Oh my Goodness, i cannot tell you how fabulous it is.  Delightfully crispy, and then just positively melts in your mouth.  Baaaaaacon will make you wanna throw rocks at that storebought pork stuff.  And then fry an egg you just snagged from the henhouse in that grease.....well, folks, that right there is why we do what we do around here.   MMMMMmmmmmmm.

Ducks on Ice

Awwww.  Apparently yesterday was the last showing of "Ducks On Ice" at Tails Up.  It was way too much fun throwing bread out onto the pond and watching Jesse and Owens, our Indian Runner Ducks, slip slide all over the place.  It was even more fun watching Dr. Ruby, one of our dogs, try to walk out onto the ice to steal the bread from the duckies, and fall thru.  Is that mean?  As i was laughing my butt off at her, she climbed up out of the pond and shook herself all over me.  So she got HER revenge......

Osama bin Llama

Tails Up Homestead sports a token llama as part of it's livestock guardian team.  He has excellent hearing...he hears things before the dogs do...but he doesn't have much of a voice.  His alert call is basically a low decibel "eek eek."  We call him the 400 lb squeaky toy.  And "The Freak," because he is such a trip.

Osama has central nervous system damage from meningitis and has good weeks and bad weeks.  Last fall, after a really rough 10 days, we called a neighbor to bring his backhoe to dig a hole so we could put Osama (bin Llama) out of his misery.  He wasn't moving, an we had done all we knew to do for him.   The neighbor drives into the pasture and the llama pops up like a daisy.  Stood for the first time in a week, and then proceeded to move in the opposite direction.  Hasn't been down since.  Showing up for dinner and everything.  Am thinking he had A bad day and then decided all the love and attention and room service was kinda nice, so was milking it for all it was worth.  But HEY,  if you're gonna off me, i'm outta here!!!! 

Cherry Blossom Goes To Camp

Dateline:  July, 2010

Jethro and i went to goat camp at Texas A&M in July.  It was a great experience, we both learned a whole lot, and came back with some great stories.  We had been waiting for this camp for an entire year, and in all the literature, nothing was ever said about the focus of the camp, just that the kids were to bring their goats, "any age or gender."  Dopey me, i assumed they meant any breed as well.  i tend to forget that the meat market is its own culture, and they do not appreciate or acknowledge us dairy people.  Market goats are nothing but livestock and treated as such, whereas dairy folks usually have "relationships" with their animals, and the two groups just don't understand each other. 

There was only one choice of goat to take--Cherry Blossom.  Cherry was a rescue brought to us to "save" last kidding season.  she was sickly and has parrot mouth, and is basically a scrub Nubian--not a goat i would want my name associated with,  but we never turn anyone away that needs a home.  Unfortunately, i had 14 kids on the ground at that time, and Ellie May and i had our hands full, and i couldn't risk compromising my "cash crop," so Cherry was banished to the brooder house with the chickens, and Jethro was assigned her care and feeding.  I told him every day not to get attached, that as soon as she was healthy and weaned we were finding her a home.  Famous last words.  A bond was formed.  A very strong bond.  This goat follows him around like a dog, and cries for him at the door when he comes inside.  She has been dressed up as Zorro, Clint Eastwood, and various nefarious characters.  They slept together in a tent one nite, and have been seen napping head to head under numerous trees and structures.  The goat doesn't know she is a goat, she prefers layer mash to goat grains, and laps water like a dog.

So...the first day of camp, Jethro walks into the arena....150 youngsters, 149 market goats, and Cherry Blossom.  We were the proverbial Baby Ruth in the swimming pool--everyone was giving her a wide berth because she looked sickly compared to the market animals (but just fine for a milky goat.)  But by the end of camp, just about everyone knew her and Jethro by name, and before the final judging, people were coming over and wishing them luck.  I had parents in the stands talking and asking questions, they had little to no experience with dairy goats, and were amazed at the relationship. 

Every once in a while one of the children would drop the lead on their market goat, and it would bolt across the arena toward the pens, and it would become a "mutton busting" event.  Some children would hand their leads to whomever was next to them and go help the child that was chasing his goat.  Jethro would go to help, but would drop is lead, and Cherry would mosey along behind him, and then when the loose goat was retrieved, Jetrho would turn around and there was Cherry, standing behind him chewing her cud, just waiting for him. 

On the last day, in the stands, i got into a protracted conversation with a woman about dairy goats.  She was sitting next to her husband, and they were obviously "Big Hat Lots of Cattle" types.  The woman was very nice, and asked lots of questions, but he was quite the curmudgeonly type, and never looked me in the eye.  He did, however, hear most of the conversation.  So the camp is over, and everyone is packing up to go, and loading, dragging, and carrying animals to trailers and cages in the backs of pickups.  Turns out we were parked next to this couple, and while they were "loading their livestock" into the animal cage in the back of their big diesel truck, Jethro comes to the car with his arms full and Cherry, untethered, following along behind.  When Jethro opens the door to the Buick and gets in, Cherry jumps up in the seat and curls up in his lap.  By the time i finished loading and was starting to get in, i see the old codger looking in my back seat, and grinning from ear to ear.  Jethro and Cherry were nose to nose and snuggled in for a long nap.  I looked at the man and said, "I know what we look like, but i'm thinking we are doing something right."  and he nodded and said, "Yep, i think you are."

Kid Kadence

Ellie May, Jethro and I came up with this little diddy while feeding our very first batch of kids.  It has practically become the dinner bell for every set of kids since.

I'm a fat boy my name is Lance,
I don't ever take a chance.
I don't leave the barn you see,
Because my bottles come to me.
Sound off:  Maa Maa
Sound off:  Maa Maa
Sound off:  Maa Maa maa maa MAA MAA

We're Kidding...No Kidding 2010

.....Lucy delivered a buck (6#) and a doe (6.5#) bright and early this morning, everyone is doing just fine.  Babies are about as close to identical as we have had here, i think, white with black stockings and earmuffs.  He has a black bow tie, and she has a black circle on back of neck.  And, of course they are adorable and soft and smell good and.....stop me before i start lactating..... Got work to do (ha ha), love to all p.s. took pictures but someone needs to help me figure out how to get them on here so i can share.....staci, where are you when i need you?

two days later...

...yesterday (technically, about 12 hrs ago in real time) evening Lace gave us (feel her pain here, ladies) 25 POUNDS--that is 2 tens and 5 ones, now--of kids, divided up between two does and two bucks.  WHEW!!  wears me out just thinking about it!  QUADS! Unfortunately it was not an easy birth, took about an hour and a half from first kid to last.  Ellie May had been on kid watch in the barn all afternoon, and delivered everyone.  Moon Dust at 5# had some trouble coming out, and her lungs were full of fluid for an extended period of time. more on her in a minute.  about an hour later, Ellie scrubbed up and  went in to untangle legs, and got the second doe, Moon Pie, at 5.5#'s on out, then the boys, Moon Shadow, 7#, and Moon Shine, 7.5# popped out like toast. Jury is still out on Dusty.  couldn't get her lungs cleared out, and she wasn't suckling, so didn't get any colostrum to speak of in her for a good 4 hours, and then only a small amount.  very weak, but we have been up with her all nite, and have gotten some more in her. {Susan: dear susan, my friend, thank you for all of your help.  we were boiling water to sterilize intubation kit, and gave the bottle one more try.  got about 2 oz of 1st milk in her, so figure she probably got about 3 oz total, then started measuring, and she just completed 4oz 2nd milk about 4:30a.  color good, blinky, and finally suckled this last time. been holding head up since about 1a or so, but still hasn't gotten on her feet.  am thinking she will make it, just hope we don't have dain bramage.  since she is definitely a Moon baby, we don't have room for error ;o)  have cell on, call when u get up.}  Lace is doing well, all things considered, but is still under "Guarded" condition.  this was hard on her.  but animal cookies seem to be working wonders. Pie is still pretty zonked, but the boys are JUST FINE.  Their lungs-and everything else, for that matter- are in tip top shape.  Those three are in the playpen with Moonlight Serenade and Moonlight Sonata (who are doing beautifully,) and let me tell ya, fellers, it's a packed house!  And Shine has already proven himself to be this year's rable rouser.  Stands in the middle of the pen and stirs everyone up till they are all chanting "We want milk, we want milk."  And there is no walking away from that crowd.    Have just realized how much this is like having a baby baby....am currently running the FOURTH load of towels since 4pm, and a dishwasher load.  HMmmmm, maybe i need to rethink this homesteading thing.... and there you have it.  love to all, will keep you posted (whether you want me to or not!)

We're Kidding...No Kidding 2011

Dateline: 5 Feb 11 It Was a Glorious Morning in the Meadow....... ......a warm, sun dappled morn.  The birds were singing and butterflies flitting, when three precious babes were born to a world full of hope and promise..... WAIT...STOP!!!!!  THAT SURE AIN'T MY LIFE!!!!!  How about....it was the middle of the night in a blinding snowstorm.......no, that is not quite right either.  The reality of it is that at about 9:30 last nite Chickory Blossom gave us a buck and a doe, and at 9:45 Moon Pie gave us a doe.  But there really was snow on the ground,  they are precious babes, and the world is full of hope and promise...... Yes, things were a little busy in the maternity ward last nite.  Susan, dear Susan, always experimenting on ways to better the goat tending process, has discovered the beauty of raspberry leaf as a means of promoting uterine health and significantly reducing discharge before and after birth.  We have been feeding copious amounts of raspberry leaf the last couple of weeks, we are talking POUNDS, here, and low and behold, no pre-birth goo, which is fabulous, except that goo has been one of the definitive indicators that the "time" has come.  We have been on high alert with Chickory for over a week, all the other signs were there, she was ready to pop any minute.  And just yesterday afternoon, i looked at Pie and said to myself, "She has got another couple of weeks to go, at least."    Just goes to show you.  They are such GOATS!!! Ellie May, Jethro and i had come in from evening barn chores, had dinner, baths, etc., and had just settled in to do a little Saturday nite popcorn and movie thing.  Jethro went  to the back of the house, then came in and put his coat on, said he heard Pie and wanted to go check on her.  I didn't think anything of it.  When we fed the does, about 6:00pm, everything was fine, no signs or indications of any activity.  And Pie has been bellowing for weeks, been quite the drama queen throughout the entire pregnancy.  No, that is not quite right.  Let's try this....Pie has been quite the  DRAMA QUEEN.  Yes, that is more appropriate.  And she surely had a couple of weeks to go.  Jethro came running back in the house, hollering that Pie was kidding, so Ellie May and I, being the seasoned mid-wives that we are, sprang into action like a well oiled machine, each to their respective jobs.  Ellie May headed to the barn, and while i was prepping in the kitchen, Jethro brings in the first kid. I get out to the barn and see another kid in the corner, and Ellie trying to help Pie, who thinks she is dieing, pass an over sized watermelon. I think, "WOW, Pie was pretty huge, but i never would have dreamed a first freshener would have TRIPLETS!!!!  That's AMAZING!!!"   All the other does are standing outside the barn in the snow, except for my darling Chickory, who is standing next to Pie, looking at me like, "Where is the love?  How come nobody is giving me any attention???!!!!"  Now, many of you know that Chickory Blossom is my miracle goatie, my special, spoiled rotten girl in a goat suit, who happens to share my birthday.  Anybody that wants to hear the story of how Chickory helped me save Lace at 3:00 a.m.one time, just let me know and i will be happy to tell you just how connected this goat and i are.  But i do have to admit that she is, shall we say, used to special treatment.  And at that very moment, while we are assessing the situation with Pie, who was busy trying to deliver what turned out to be the second biggest kid we have ever had here, Chickory is nosing her way in to the thick of things, with a polite but persistent, "Excuse me, but doesn't this situation usually involve cookies, peanuts, and warm molasses water??  Can't a girl get a little attention around here??"   I took hold of her collar to head her out the door, and low and behold, here comes placenta.  Yes, she immediately got her maternity treats, a good brushing out and milking, and lots and lots of loving.  While i was taking care of Chicklet, Ellie May helped Pie deliver a pony.  All mommas and babies are doing beautifully.  This year's name theme is Texas Towns.  We had a great time researching our possibilities, and learned a lot about our state.  We found that a lot of the most interesting names are now ghost towns, or very nearly so.  Places like Ding Dong, Diddy Wa Diddy, Jot 'Em Down, and Cut and Shoot.  Hmmmmmm, perhaps names are more important that we think...... One of my all time Top 10 favorite movies is a twisted little thing from the early '70's starring Ruth Gordon and Bud Cort called "Harold and Maude."  As fate would have it, there just happens to be a Harrold, Texas, and a Maud, Texas.  Now, Ellie May has seen this movie, and while she doesn't appreciate it like i do, she knows how i love it, and she is the one that found the Texas towns by the same names and called them to my attention.  Since she did the hard part, ok, the hard human part, of pulling a stuck kid, she got the honor of naming all of them.  She decided that since Chickory's babies were black, they were already in funeral garb (you have to see the movie to get the joke) and must be named....but of course, Harrold and Maud. Moon Pie's baby is a carbon copy of her momma, and very much reminds us of her dear departed auntie, Moon Dust (aka Dusty, Doodles, and the "Poodle") and has been christened Utopia. Harrold checked in at 7 lbs, Maud at 6 1/2 lbs, and Utopia (Momma, can i have a Pony?) arrived at 8 1/2 lbs. And there you have it, friends, the first installment of " We're Kidding, No Kidding 2011 From Tail's Up Homestead," brought to you by our fine sponsors in the barnyard. Stay tuned for the next update.....Will it be Becky Births Babies?  Lace Lives to Lactate?  Dosidoe Delivers Does?

two hours later....

...hit send on the last post, went out to the barn to do chores, just in time to catch a buck and a doe from becky at 4:30 and a buck and a doe from dosidoe at 5:15. much to do, vitals later!!

and two hours after that...

ummm, that's 7 kids in less than 20 hours. 

just in case you're counting.

some things that i have realized in the last 12 hours:

this means.....

from 28 - 35 bottles a day

at least 4 milkings a day, X 4 does.

10-12 of the wrong sized piddle pads a day (if i'm lucky)

2-3 loads of towels a day

at least two dishwasher loads of milking paraphernalia for sterilization a day

the portable play pen and a laundry basket are not big enough for this crowd.

4 mommas pining for something that is missing that they are just not sure of is way more heartbreaking than just one or two.

seven babies do not all sleep at the same time.  someone is always awake. 

and one of them is a rabble rouser.

Two years ago kidding season lasted TWO MONTHS.  therefore it was called "season:"

Last year, because we had hurricane Ike during breeding, kidding season lasted TWO WEEKS.  this was not so bad, and that is what we were trying for this time.

This year, we discover that the Tigger Method of breeding, in which you throw open the door and hope for the best, is not the wisest course of action, because breeding season seems to be TWO DAYS.  (If Lace will pop out her 3 or 4 today, that is.)

One of them weighed 9 lbs, one of them is named Splendora.  couldn't tell you about the rest right now.  will do so when i untangle it all.

Y'all have a peaceful, lovely day, ya hear?

Not My First Choice

I spent all of yesterday's excess brain cells (and at this stage of the game there aren't too many extras) trying to decide which story to start with.  I wanted to write something funny, something that might make you chuckle later in the day.  But life isn't always full of chuckles, and life on the farm certainly isn't always laughable.  Today isn't, anyway.

Conscientious animal husbandry is a harsh business, and at 6:30 this morning, i had to make a very, VERY hard decision.  I am not happy about it, but i know it was the right thing to do. 

Later i will be posting the email i sent out three days ago, announcing the birth of this year's first batch of Nubian kids.  I introduced the progeny of my beloved Chickory Blossom, a buckling we named Harrold, and a doeling named Maud, and explained that their names came from the 1971 movie Harold and Maude, and that they both happen to be Texas towns, this year's name theme. 

There is a line in the movie in which Harold's mother (who pronounces his name with a short <a> as in apple, rather than the phonetic blend we use here in Texas that sounds like "air") says, "Harrold, I suppose you think you are funny.  Well.....you are NOT!"  This line became a running gag around here.  Every time one of us picked up Harrold the Goat, we looked him in the eye and recited the line, and then all of us cracked up laughing.  It will remain a happy memory for me. 

Long story short, yesterday morning Harrold started crashing, continuing a downward spiral until he had a little bounce last nite, and then further decline thru the wee hours.  I finally had to make the decision to end his suffering.  We have been very lucky here, we have had quite good fortune in getting thru most of the sickness and difficulties that we have encountered in our animals, and when we have not had good fortune, the babes have gone reasonably quickly.  This is the first time i have had to put an animal down to end it's suffering, and it was a really hard thing to do.  I should have done it several hours sooner.  But i just couldn't.  What if he had rallied?  I have seen it before.  I thought i saw Chickory take her last breath at least three times.  And she just gave me babies.

So here are the two things that stand out in my mind right now:

#1  There are huge differences between taking a life to put food on the table; loving an older animal over to the other side; and ending an existence before it even has a chance to become what it might
.
#2  Dogs are amazing.  Obnoxious Dog and Watchful Eyes understood what was happening, and stayed on duty with me all night long, in companionable silence, asking for no attention, checking on the kid occasionally, then settling back down out of the way.  Which is really amazing when you consider that one is aka Jealous Jewels, and Maka Kilo has become quite the couch potato/bed bug.   When it was all over, i went to bed, and they quietly joined me, without the usual "bedding down rituals" that involve lots of jockeying for position,  ignoring the call to arms from the other dogs, and the sounds of potential drop-downs in the kitchen, as i slept.  They were amazing.

So that was my night.  Stay tuned.

Tales from Tails Up: Prologue

This is the story of a homestead deep in the heart of the Piney Woods of East Texas.  After being enslaved by a mom and pop retail store smack dab in the middle of the D/FW metroplex for 20 years, they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.... the Hills that is, the Hills of East Texas.  Pa is something of an Uncle Jed.  The eldest child is definitely an Ellie May...a beautiful blonde that  has quite a way with animals.  The youngest, well, our Jethro Bodine is a lovable, double-naught-spy-in-training.  And i guess that make me Granny.  Kinda scary.  But, i have to admit that i can see it.  Which is giving me chicken skin.

So we moved to the middle of nowhere, relatively speaking, acquired a small bit of land and a "Custom Home" (you will come to appreciate the humor of that in time.)  And then dairy goats.  Chickens.  Ducks.  Donkeys.  A llama.  Rabbits.  Oh.  and Dogs.  Big Dogs.  Lots of Dogs.  A pack of wild dogs.  And an ebbing and flowing tide of barn cats.  Most of them (except the goats) are rescues, all of them beloved.  Well, most of them..  There have been one or two that were pretty cranky.  But we still love them.

This life has taught us much about animal husbandry, and in particular about animal health care, and  humane butchering practices.  We have grown gardens, and learned food storage techniques.  We have learned how to amend the homeschooling process to suit each of our children.  We have learned how to live on one income, and that we don't need "stuff,"  but that we do need each other.  And we have learned what we truly believe in, and who our friends really are. 

Last year we reached a milestone in our process, and i began writing emails to share what was going on with some friends, and one thing lead to another, this year the mailing list has grown significantly.  My mama used to say, "If one person calls you a horse, ignore them.  If two people call you a horse, think about it.  If three people call you a horse, buy a saddle."  Well, after this years initial letter, i got three suggestions of posting my story.  Actually, only two mentioned a blog, one suggested Facebook.  But since i am the orange Vega with brown doors and bald tires trying to merge onto the information superhighway, i am going this route.  This is frightening enough for someone as technologically challenged as myself.  That Facebook thing just fries my mind.

For i while, i am gonna be unfolding the story with current events alongside the past tense and ancient history, until we get all caught up.  So bear with me in the beginning.  This is way more computer exposure than i am used to.  Anybody wanna take bets on how long it takes me to figure out how to post pictures?  Them what know me are laughing their socks off right now.......

So....This is to be our story.  Something for posterity.  For my babies.  For my friends and family, to maybe be a part of their lives by sharing mine.  For others trying to homestead, that they may either learn from my mistakes, or find a new trick for providing better care for their animals.  But mostly as a kind of funky prayer of thanksgiving to my Father for the Great Good Blessings He has bestowed upon me in this poop rich environment.