Lancie Boy

As i look back over the posts of the last couple of years, i see that i have not mentioned our wether, Lance.

aka Lazy Lance
aka Lance the Lump
aka Lovable Lance

 

Lance was the product of unintended breeding that took place right after we had the fire, when everything was either out of control or beyond our control.

 

His mama was my first favorite goat, Loki, who could not have been more aptly named (Loki being the Norse god of chaos and mayhem.)

She was the original Flying Goat, and no one has ever put the twist into the Happy Goatie Feet dance like she did.

She also had a thing for climbing on cars to get to the juicy leaves on the trees, and then when that was done she would go snooze on the white trash couch until i would come out and scratch her ears.

 

(We had a van at the time, and had pulled one of the benches out and set it on the back porch by the kitchen door.  Decided the bench was way more useful there than in the van, and took to referring to it as "the white trash couch.")

 

His daddy was the original Lance, and (banjo pickin' here) brother to Loki.

Don't tell PETA.

 

So Lancie Boy was never destined to be a Herd Sire or a Brain Surgeon.

And he has lived up to expectations.

 

He is kind of a lump, but he could not be a sweeter boy, and was made for lovin'.

 

Well, not Sparkin' Sparta kinda lovin', but snuggle goatie lovin'.

 

He was Jethro's first favorite goat, and is Moon's best friend.

 

Since we are mentioning the original goats that we started the herd with--Loki and Lance Sr., i gotta share a memory real quick. 

 

The other two original goats were Ren (you remember her--the cranky one that we sent up north) and One Eyed Jack. 

 

Jack had a problem with one eye, like a cataract or something.  Never gave him any trouble, and we never figured it out.  But that is how he got his name.

Jack was a real hunny boy, and we were so sorry to loose him. 

He and Ren gave us Becky the Bad, and she is a top notch homestead milker, even if she took her mama's disposition.

 

Before the fire, we had a lot of acreage, and used to turn the goats out and let them roam free all day. 

One day, when Jethro was about four, and Jack was still a puppy, i looked out the kitchen window to see the two of them in a standoff. 

Jethro was bent at the waist, and he and Jack were forehead to forehead.

Every once in a while, Jack would rare up on two legs and Jethro would stand straight, trying to see who could get the tallest, and then they would go head to head again...not head butting--Jack was too gentle for that, but eye to eye.

 

There was definitely some kind of communication going on between those two stubborn boys.

 

I have always wondered what they were saying, and who won. 

 

 

Dust Bowl

The Quail Experiment has begun.

 

Susan, Dear Susan hatched out a bevy of these beauties, and i have given eleven of them a new home.

It is my sincere hope that they are not all named Lou.

Need some Luetta's in there.

Am hoping for a little reproduction, here.

Coz all these guys are good for about one meal.

 

They started out pristine and white.

 They make the sweetest little sorta chirping sound. 

They won't be performing surgery any time soon, but we find them to be quite esthetically pleasing, on many levels.

 

Until they decide to take a dust bath. 

We have one we must call Pig Pen.

He is the one towards the top in the picture above.

He is such a Dust Hog that the fella below had trouble getting his turn.

Pig Pen gets in and rolls around on his back like a happy dog rollin' in the grass.

When he gets done with that, he rolls onto one side and streeeeettttccchhhhhes one leg, then rolls over and strreeeeeeeettttccches the other leg.

Then he does the Happy Dog again.

He is funny enough that i am not sure i am gonna be able to eat him.

Kinda like the Bob's he is worth way more in entertainment value that meat.

An Open Letter To Mrs. Obama

Dear Michelle,

I would like to commend you on your efforts to raise the nutritional level of our nation's school lunch program.  I understand that your efforts have considerably improved the content of our public school dumpsters, and would like to personally thank you for the wise expenditure of my hard earned tax dollars.

Being a concerned mother, as well, i am a tad uncertain as to how to implement a higher nutritional standard in my own kitchen, and am hoping that you would be willing to share the particular threats, bribes or tortures you use in your own home to make your family consume all that organic produce you grow out back in the White House kitchen garden, and how they manage to stay upright on so few calories.

I make every effort to provide healthy food three times a day, cooking from scratch, using as few commercially prepared ingredients as possible (except for Ranch Dressing Mix,) and spend countless hours and untold expense preserving the fruits of our labor on this humble homestead, in order to maintain a pantry full of sustenance free of growth hormones, genetically modified organisms and pesticides, as i am not a proponent of the "Better living through chemicals" way of thinking.  I find it difficult, however, to sell the fresh, raw vegetables in my own home unless they are covered in cheese, gravy, or Ranch Dressing.

Perhaps i could illustrate my  dilemma with an anecdote.

On a recent afternoon, i set out a luscious bowl of baby field greens (i just cannot say "baby field greens" without thinking of the movie "Intolerable Cruelty" where the yuppy lawyer sits down in a greasy spoon diner and orders "A salad please, baby field greens," and the cranky waitress gives him the stink eye and says, "What did you call me?"  I just love those Cohen brothers, don't you?) along with grated carrot and some breaded chicken breast for protein.

Ellie May chose two lettuce leaves, eight carrot shreds, and half of the chicken breast that i had prepared for three salads.  She then piled the plate with homemade macaroni and cheese.

When i looked at her plate with a disapproving eye, Ellie May said, "What?  That is the perfect protein to vegetable ratio."

Oddly, even though i talk myself blue in the face trying to get them to enjoy those fresh veggies, my children are not overweight. I am going to assume this would be because they are not spending two-thirds of their day sitting at a desk or in front of a television.  Rather, they are learning hard work and responsibility with a full complement of physical chores that keep them very active and out in the fresh air and sunshine. 

So i am willing to overlook a little mac-n-cheese, as long as it doesn't come out of a box.  Someday, after their digestive systems fully mature, they will understand the benefit of a big pile of baby field greens (what did you call me?)  In the meantime, i will just have to serve kid friendly fare that is made from scratch, rather than the prepackaged chemical concoctions that make some lives so much easier.  Hope that is okay with you.

You can lead a horse to water, Michelle, but you cannot make him drink.
'Nuff said.

Sincerely,
Chickory Blossom

Anatolian Shepherds--Guardians and Retrievers

The Boyz are usually passed out in the back yard by the time i leave to swim in the mornings.

This morning, they were still on duty when i pulled out.

The cows were in the pasture to the left of these shots, and The Boyz were making sure they didn't cross any lines. 

All i could see were a couple of heads.

George was out in the middle of the pasture...

 And Ralph was up by the road....

 I feel so safe.

Susan has a great story about her Anatolian, Aegis, brother to these guys.  I have waited for days for her to tell it, but she is all wrapped up in aquaponics right now (!!!!) so i guess i gotta tell it for her.

It would seem that when Susan goes to feed and water the quail, there is one of them that considers it his duty to fly out of the cage and wait patiently at her feet for the bed to be turned down and a mint placed on the pillow.  When she is done in the cage, Susan scoops him up and deposits him back in his suite.  One evening, the tasty little morsel decided to go walkabout while he was waiting on room service, and scooted through the fence into the neighbors yard. 

Susan gathered her handy shepherd's crook, and began the trek through all the gates and around the fencing to the neighbor's yard.  As she approached, the morsel scooted back where he belonged.  Susan headed home.  Before she even got to the gates, the morsel tries to make another escape.  Susan goes back into the neighbor's yard, and the morsel skinnies through the fence again, this time taking flight. 

Just as Susan is thinking, "Oh great, he is gone, now,"  Aeg comes out of nowhere, jumps up and catches the quail in mid-air.

Susan says, "Aegis!  That is MY quail!"

Aeg trots over to her and deposits a pristine, unharmed, unruffled, dry quail in Susan's hand.

Ya gotta love those dogs.

Self-Browsing Sparkin' Sparta Grows Up To Be Self-Breeding Sparkin' Sparta

Susan sent me some pictures of Sparkin' Sparta this weekend.  He is still a growing boy, and looking quite manly.

Feelin' quite manly, too.

He is in lockdown right now because he has been feeling so manly, and has been trying to share the love.

Of course, i am laughing my socks off, because when i was dealing with his wandering ways and threatening to throw him on the grill, Susan kept talking me out of it.

Now she gets it.

Ellie May asks what i am laughing about, and i told her that Sparta was doin' time in the kidding stall because he bred Susan's Grand Dam and Leader Of The Pack (and herd queen) Faith.

A SpartaXFaith breeding is not the first one that would come to mind.  No matter how wonderful Faith is.

Ellie just looked at me.

I said, "He got out."

She replied, "Alive?"

Name That Critter

Ellie May and i are sitting around trying to think of a name for the quail. 

Oh, we have quail, now, by the way.  Got them a couple of weeks ago. 

I have been writing the post to share pics and tell the story and all that, and am kinda draggin' my feet 'coz i haven't named them yet.  Been searchin' for just the right moniker.

Tough to do.  Has to fit, ya know.

Anyway, Ellie May and i are sitting here batting around possibilities, looking for a good set of names that make us smile, like The Bob's and The Bab's does.

Problem is, we keep coming up with reruns...

"How about the George and Georgia's?"

"No, we have one of those."

"They like to take dust baths, how about Sandy's and Dusty's?"

"No, there will never be another Dusty."

"What about Jake's and Judy's"

"Used that before."

You are getting the picture, here.

Who knew we were so uncreative, and had been through so many animals that we would have trouble giving them a name?

From now on, i think we are just gonna start calling everybody Pat.

Dinner Time

Somebody needs to teach Percy some manners.

It is just RUDE to stand in the communal dinner dish.

These pics are for me, so that i will be able to remember what a clean dairy barn looks like a week from now.

There's More Than One Way To Climb A Tree...

...or not.

 

Drought Salad

Still in drought conditions here, and the lagoon is about a quart low. 

HA!!!

If Only!!!

At least it is not cracked earth like it was last summer...remember that?

The girlz finally figured out that the last of the good green stuff is growing along the banks of the pool.  I have wondered, always figuring they were allergic to duckweed or something.

Even HRH The Princess Gidget, who despises getting her feet wet, was willing to course the shores to get to the yummy greenness.

And we all know that Cherry never misses a meal.

Ruby Vs. The Compost Pile

We would love to compost. 

We have composted in the past, with great success.  I consider a sympathetic peach tree that came up in the middle of the pile and went on to produce fruit a great success.  Unfortunately, we had to leave the peach tree where it sprouted when we left the big city.  Along with the Wisteria From H-E-double toothpicks, that i so dearly loved.  Especially in spring.

But i digress.

Again.

Here in the middle of the Homestead Project, though, the compost pile has been about as successful as the garden.  There isn't much to send to the pile, because between the chickens, dogs, goats and an eleven year old boy, there are NO scraps.  The goats pretty much compost the plant matter themselves.  Only thing we have left are piles of pecan wood, which we save for Susan's Bob to smoke the meats with. 

Several years ago we acquired a couple of nifty compost containment contraptions.  They are flexible, portable, and have holes all over them, kind of a collar type thing.  I am sure they work well.  I mean, i am assuming they work well.  We have never managed to get enough organic matter in them to really find out.

We had one of them set up just outside the doe pen for the old bedding hay, not that that much of the hay made it that far, but it was there, just in case.

Ruby, the Great Snake Hunter, was tracking something that took to the bottom of the compost bin.

She was trying to dig under, so we went ahead and removed the collar in order to save it, coz once Ruby gets on something, she will stop at nothing.

Not sure what she was after, but this is what it looked like when she was done.

This is why we don't even try to compost any more.

We think she was after a snake.
Ruby loves to go after snakes.

Of course, you remember how i feel about snakes.
The only good snake is a dead snake, and there is only one type of snake, the dreaded Copper Headed Water Rattler.

So i am glad that Ruby is a Snake Hunter.

Only problem is, every now and then she gets tagged.

Several years ago, i was telling our county ag agent about one of Ruby's snakebites, and how we watched the swelling from the poison move through her body for about two weeks, as it worked it's way out. 

The ag agent gave us a really good tip i would like to pass on to you.  He said to use DMSO on the bite, and it would neutralize the poison.

DMSO is used as a liniment on horses, and has other uses as well.  It can be found in most feed stores. 

One evening Ruby showed up with a snout the size of Montana, so i slathered a mess of DMSO on the bite, and the next morning there was no sign at all that she had been bitten.  We now keep a supply on hand at all times.

Just thought i would pass that along.

Bawdy Maudy

You have heard of the chicken crossing the road.

Our chickens cross the backs.

This one was taking a stroll, and Maud was the only one paying attention.

Goat Warrior

Somebody has been reading about Knights lately, and putting the information garnered to work in his everyday life.

Becky The Bad must bend to his will, or suffer the consequences of The Archer!!!

 One must be prepared to defend the realm...

 ...and jousting is not just for sport.

 Look at those goaties run!

Rutless Steel

Bucks smell.

Sometimes they smell like a teenage boy.

Sometimes they smell like they have been rooting around the local garbage dump for the entire month of August.

Sometimes they smell worse than that.

During rut they do unspeakable things to themselves that gives them an odor beyond description.

Couple that with the fact that for about four months out of  the year they have absolutely no blood flowing to their brains, and you can see that it makes them really hard to love.

And yet you do.

Because under all that stink they are still sweet little buckies, and they make such great little babies.

Even though they are downright disgusting, you still have to get your hands on them from time to time.  Sometimes, when you are trying to avoid touching them, they beg you to scratch that spot at the top of their head under their scurs that they can't reach.

Oddly, the funk can reach that spot, too.

When you are done messing with them, you smell like...guess what?  Rutty Buck.

It is a smell that lingers.

And lingers.

And lingers.

Rutty Buck makes strong onion, garlic and three day old fish seem like petunias.

Mere soap and water are no match for this odor.

It is a very difficult thing to get rid of.

Several years ago, ALA brought me a prezzy from her trip Abroad.

I never knew it before, but when you rub stainless steel under water, a chemical reaction of some sort takes place, that washes odors away!  Did you know that?

Guess what?  It instantly removes Rutty Buck!!!

It is the only thing i have ever found that kills the smell...quickly!!!

It was so awesome, the next year, when ALA went Abroad again, i asked her to bring another so i could share it with Susan Dear Susan.  ALA was so cool, she brought back several, and i was able to share them around with all my friends who work with smelly stuff.  Every one of them keep this in the kitchen sink soap dish and use it regularly. 

Don't tell anyone, but i stashed the last one away so that if anything ever happened to mine, i would have a back up, because it would be far less efficient to have to take my stainless steel mixing bowl into the shower when Moon marks me as his own.

This past year i saw something similar in one of those fancy kitchen gadget shops.  Might i suggest, that if you deal with anything smelly, or even if you cut onions., that you procure one of these little gems?

Once again, i would like to extend a heartfelt thanks to ALA for what is probably the most useful gift you have ever given me, and for the generosity that allowed me to share it with others!!  Whatta friend!

Funnelweb Spider

Another day, another failed biscuit recipe.

But look what we found...

 Can you see the spider down in the tunnel?

 The entire web is huge, a little better than two feet wide.

 I know this isn't a very good picture of the tunnel, but it was the best i could do...can ya see it?

Soap Suds Part III

Our soap has been resting quietly for about 24 hours now, and nap time is over. 

You will note that there is a bit of oxidation on the backs.   Unless it is moisture, i am not sure what causes this, but it doesn't affect the bar.  If anybody figures it out, feel free to shout it out. 

Slowly and gently press on the back of the mold to release the bar. 

What did i tell you?  Ya get about three good bars from this mold.  Oh Well. 
The tray molds are easy to remove because they generally release on their own.  I suppose it is because of the weight of the giant bar.

These are two of my favorite fancy molds, and they come out fairly consistently.

Time to get out the ol' Galloping Gourmet Bash N Chop to cut the big bars into small bars.

Look!  What a lovely loaf of....soap!

Lay the bars out on trays lined with freezer paper or butcher paper.  Be sure to leave space around each one so that they get plenty of air.

The bulk of the work is over, now, and the anticipation part begins.  The soap needs to cure for about eight weeks before you use it, but you are going to become real friendly with it in that time, because for the first several weeks, ya gotta flip them over every day, and then every other day or so for the rest of the time.  You want them to let them get aired out all over so they cure evenly.  

After the curing is done, draw yourself a nice warm bath and enjoy the fruits of your labor!

One last tip.  Write on the liner paper whatcha got on the tray.  You may think you will remember what you put in the soap, but it is kinda like tossing something in the freezer without marking it.  You think you will remember when you throw it in there, but after stuff gets frozen, it all looks alike, and two months down the line you have no idea what it started out as.  Write it down, now.  Trust me.

 

 Yes, that says "goose."  Remember the geese we butchered last week?  We rendered some of the fat for the soap.  Susan "Guess Who" Dear Susan assures us it will make a nice, luxurious bar.  Can't wait to try it out.

Last year we tried something new, and were quite pleased with the results, so it is going in the regular line up.  Here is the recipe for a....

Shampoo Bar
6 oz Castor oil
15 oz Coconut oil
10 oz Olive oil
3 oz Palm oil
6 oz Jojoba

2T Steric acid
5.4 oz Lye
15 oz goat milk
Vitamin E
Fragrance oil

Remember when i complained about how the airlines won't let ladies of a certain age carry the liquids of necessity in a gallon sized baggie? The shampoo bar is how i managed in a quart baggie.

The shampoo bar is very rich with oils, and takes way longer to cure--i think we waited about 4 months, and wound up cutting it into small little cubes to get it dried out, but it was well worth the wait.  Am thinking to get a regular sized bar we are gonna have to work about a year in advance.  Will let you know about that later.

Good luck, and happy saponification!

Soap Suds Part II

Let's make some soap!!

First thing ya wanna do is set a jug of vinegar next to the sink.  If there are any little lye accidents, vinegar is gonna neutralize it.

Oh, and make sure you have a fresh roll of paper towels close at hand.  This is one time when it is okay to kill a tree.  You can wash dishtowels and put surfactants into the groundwater when you are making cheese or something less hazardous.

Now gather together your molds.  If you are using something like my Mackerel Mold, which is made of wood, you are gonna need to line it.  I use cling and tape it to the sides.

Then you need to gather together the ingredients.  Best to weigh and measure everything ahead and have it sitting there waiting on you, as you will not have time or a free hand to do it as you go.  When you measure out the lye, use a paper plate, and when you have finished with it, put the plate directly into the trash.

SOAP

48 oz frozen goat milk
12 oz sodium hydroxide (lye)
5 lbs lard
1/2 lb other fat (olive oil, coconut oil, palm oil etc)
2 oz glycerin
2T borax
1/3 c honey

Now let's figure out what we are goin' to doctor it up with...

I usually use vitamin E and Aloe in my soaps, but have also used cocoa butter, almond oil and a super moisturizer with a name that starts with T that i can't remember now and never could pronounce anyway.  I also toss in either essential oils or fragrance oils or both.  And most of the time i put in some kind of dried herb or a little something extra.  Some times i run the herbs or extras through the food processor for a fine grind, sometimes not.  Suit yourself.

For example...

For one of my favorite soaps, i put in mint and rosemary E.O.'s, and then a generous helping of dried mint and rosemary.  It makes me tingly!

Another one we like has cedarwood and lemongrass E.O.'s and cornmeal, for a light exfoliating effect with a lovely scent.  This one is like a girly Lava...gets the gardening dirt out but doesn't kill your skin.  And it smells dee-vine.

Sometimes we do a batch with ground up almonds, and we always do one with oatmeal. 

Calendula buds made another nice soap, and was quite pretty.

Of course lavender EO and lavender buds is always a crowd pleaser.

Each year, we do at least one batch with a fancy fragrance oil and nothing else.  One year we did Creme Brulee, but decided not to do that again, even though it smelled delicious.  The side effect was that it made us hungry every time we washed our hands.  Got enough trouble without the soap contributing.  Amber is a very nice scent; and tragically, Autumn Lodge was discontinued.  Snag it if you ever see it.  Last year we used Tuscan Garden.  You are getting the picture here. 

Of course, we are not finished with soap for the year unless we have done some patchouli.  The patchouli is kinda a joke, because both The Baas and i love this scent, and each year we buy a big bottle of it, thinking that we will have plenty for soap making, and lotion as well.  Every year we start out dumping just a small amount in the soap.  We smell it and look at each other, pour in a bit more, stir and smell, then a bit more.  Each year we wind up using the whole bottle.  Who knows why we don't just put the whole thing in all at once.  Would save SO much time.

Something to remember about EO's and FO's:  EO's don't have as strong a scent, but the scent lasts longer, FO's initially have a stronger scent, but it looses potency faster. 

Use whatcha like, and be bold and experiment.  It is all going down the drain anyway, right?

Here we go.  Let's get to it.

Put all of your fats in the stock pot, and set it over low heat.  The goal is 90* F.  Stay with it and keep it moving.

This is what it will look like after stirring for about 10 minutes when you have turned the heat on under the pan of bar cookies you left on the back of the stove instead of under the stock pot of fats.  The fats will not be the right temperature, but your house will smell like burned chocolate.

THIS is what it looks like when you correct that flub and get the fats up to 90*.

At the same time, get your liquids going by putting the frozen goat milk in the stainless bowl.  After milking, i freeze mine in 24 oz blocks, so it is already measured.  Just pull a couple of blocks out of the freezer about 10 minutes before you need them.

A little at a time, add the sodium hydroxide, and stir constantly.

As the lye dissolves, add a bit more, and keep stirring until the milk is melted.

A chemical reaction is taking place at this time, and the liquids will heat up.  Keep a check on the temperature.  The goal is 90* F.  If you get all the milk melted and the lye dissolved, and your temperature is not on target, set the stainless bowl in a pan of hot water or ice water until ya get it where it needs to be.  You have a small amount of play in the temp, but the fats and liquids need to be within about 5 degrees of each other, in the 85 -95* range.

Once this is all melted, stir the honey into the liquids.  It will probably turn a nice golden color, but don't freak if it doesn't.

Now the fun part, and the part where you are really glad you called in an accomplice (Thank You, Baas!)

VERY SLOWLY incorporate the fats into the liquids with the boat motor.  Be VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY CAREFUL!!! (note all the very's...this is for emphasis, as it is supremely important to be very, very, very, very careful.)  This is an extremely caustic mess, and an accident would be very, very, very, very unpleasant. 

It will also give off acrid fumes, so make sure you are in a well ventilated area.  We don't usually have to worry too much about ventilation because there are eight kids running around, and that tends to create quite a breeze.

The stuff will sort of curdle at first, but just keep it moving because as it thickens it smooths out.

When you get all the fats and liquids combined and it is looking like a big bowl of pudding, add the glycerin and borax, and keep stirring.

Pretty soon it is going to start to thicken up.

This is the part that i had the hardest time understanding when i read up on how to make soap.  I didn't understand the concept of "trace" until Guess Who ;o) actually demonstrated it.  Which would be why i am posting all these pictures...so that you don't have to live in fear of the unknown and scratch your head in confusion a lot like i did.

You keep stirring the soap until it reaches "trace."  This is when you stop the stirring and spoon some of the batter across the top.  When it maintains it's form on top of the soap rather than melding and sinking into the rest, you are there.  See the crisscross sitting on top?  That is trace.

 

When you have reached trace, the fun begins.  This is when you add your smell-goods and pretty-'em-ups.  Add your essential oils or fragrance oils a little at a time (unless it is patchouli, in which case you are just gonna dump the whole bottle,) stir it real well, and give it a smell, add/stir/smell until you are happy.  Then add your botanicals or extras.

Now you are ready to fill the molds.

Once you get it in the molds, ya need to tap the molds on the counter a few times to settle the soap into the nooks and crannies, and remove air bubbles--kinda like ya would do when you are baking a cake.

Now set all of your molds on the big trays, and put them in an out of the way place for 24 hours.

Come back tomorrow and we will see what we got!