Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Can You Say "Buck Rodeo?"


There is one small detail of this story that i prolly should not admit to, but the story is in the details. Before anyone gets upset and calls PETA or the SPCA or something, i am gonna impart a bit of info.


When goats are, shall we say, communicating with each other, there are several non-verbal methods used to get the point across.


Of course you are familiar with Head Butting, and sometimes the power and ferocity exhibited in this display is quite scary to observe. I am amazed on a daily basis that there are never any broken ribs or noggins out there.


Another of the common means of articulation is the Bite. Ren was a master of this one. Chickory had permanent bald spots on her hips from Ren's constant advisement's on a variety of subjects. This action can be mimicked by humans on an "as needed" basis in what Susan Dear Susan refers to as "Hitting the GO button." If you are having trouble getting someone to do as you desire, you reach back and give them a good solid pinch on the hind quarter, and generally your command will be obeyed. Exceptions to every rule, of course. Mean old biddies like Ren will just reach around and bite you back, but most understand the meaning and become compliant.


In extreme circumstances, enlightenment comes in the form of the Ear Pull, of which Ren was also a master, but Lace was rather proficient at, as well. This too, can be used by the two legged to achieve desired behavioral goals. I personally don't use this one very often, as we all get along pretty well around here, and mosta the girlz are quite happy to do as i ask, and if they are hesitant, i produce cookies, and that gets me what i want.


Young bucks that think they are in rut are another story.
They possess a hormonal focus that generally requires a sledge hammer to break through.


Last week, Legacy's gene pool was creating waves, and had Maud at the fence driving the bucks to distraction.


Fence? What stinkin' fence?
Sparta doan let no stinkin' fence slow HIM down!!!


Three days running, i step out to find no does in the doe yard, and when i go out there, Sparta sticks his head out the barn door to look at me as if to say, "They're all in here...no need to come any further, I've got it all under control."


I go to get him, and he is so intent on taking care of biddness that i don't think he even knew i was there. I get ahold of his collar and start to tug him in the direction of the buck pen. He spun around hard and jerked me with him. I am no small woman. This buck was on a mission.


I tried several different methods of persuasion, including hitting the "Go" button, and all were ignored in favor of trying to win favor with Maud. He finally started a charge toward her, and, in a moment of thoughtless desperation, i grabbed for anything i could get my hands on, which turned out to be a collar and an ear.


Exhibiting profound Mama Skills, in a split second, i managed to drag a hundred-and-somethin' pound buck sideways toward me. This finally got his attention, and i was able to herd him out the gate.
Note skid marks and footprints pictured above.


Susan arrives that afternoon for her yearly visit, and fell head over heels for Sparta, revising all of next year's Happy Thoughts on the spot, and then going home to post a blog about him titled "The Best Kept Secret In East Texas." Go see it at queenacresonline@blogspot.com.


A couple of days later, Sparkin' Sparta is caught leading my girlz astray, again, and i called Susan and told her i was fixin' to send him to Freezer Camp. She suggested we send him to Boot Camp, instead. So i loaded that bad boy up and trucked him down south.


When Sparta got to Boot Camp, he tried to show the other bucks what a man he was, but Susan's boyz promptly put an end to Sparta's Big Bad Buck Routine, and he can now be seen cowering in the woodpile, trying to stay out of the way, or, as Ellie May put it, "He has gone Oscar Mayer."



My worries are not over, however. 
During milking chores, i opened the dairy door to let one doe out and another one in, and bonked MOON square on the head.

It would appear that Sparta left him a key.

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