Not My First Choice

I spent all of yesterday's excess brain cells (and at this stage of the game there aren't too many extras) trying to decide which story to start with.  I wanted to write something funny, something that might make you chuckle later in the day.  But life isn't always full of chuckles, and life on the farm certainly isn't always laughable.  Today isn't, anyway.

Conscientious animal husbandry is a harsh business, and at 6:30 this morning, i had to make a very, VERY hard decision.  I am not happy about it, but i know it was the right thing to do. 

Later i will be posting the email i sent out three days ago, announcing the birth of this year's first batch of Nubian kids.  I introduced the progeny of my beloved Chickory Blossom, a buckling we named Harrold, and a doeling named Maud, and explained that their names came from the 1971 movie Harold and Maude, and that they both happen to be Texas towns, this year's name theme. 

There is a line in the movie in which Harold's mother (who pronounces his name with a short <a> as in apple, rather than the phonetic blend we use here in Texas that sounds like "air") says, "Harrold, I suppose you think you are funny.  Well.....you are NOT!"  This line became a running gag around here.  Every time one of us picked up Harrold the Goat, we looked him in the eye and recited the line, and then all of us cracked up laughing.  It will remain a happy memory for me. 

Long story short, yesterday morning Harrold started crashing, continuing a downward spiral until he had a little bounce last nite, and then further decline thru the wee hours.  I finally had to make the decision to end his suffering.  We have been very lucky here, we have had quite good fortune in getting thru most of the sickness and difficulties that we have encountered in our animals, and when we have not had good fortune, the babes have gone reasonably quickly.  This is the first time i have had to put an animal down to end it's suffering, and it was a really hard thing to do.  I should have done it several hours sooner.  But i just couldn't.  What if he had rallied?  I have seen it before.  I thought i saw Chickory take her last breath at least three times.  And she just gave me babies.

So here are the two things that stand out in my mind right now:

#1  There are huge differences between taking a life to put food on the table; loving an older animal over to the other side; and ending an existence before it even has a chance to become what it might
.
#2  Dogs are amazing.  Obnoxious Dog and Watchful Eyes understood what was happening, and stayed on duty with me all night long, in companionable silence, asking for no attention, checking on the kid occasionally, then settling back down out of the way.  Which is really amazing when you consider that one is aka Jealous Jewels, and Maka Kilo has become quite the couch potato/bed bug.   When it was all over, i went to bed, and they quietly joined me, without the usual "bedding down rituals" that involve lots of jockeying for position,  ignoring the call to arms from the other dogs, and the sounds of potential drop-downs in the kitchen, as i slept.  They were amazing.

So that was my night.  Stay tuned.