Tradition.......TRADITION!!!!!

I have lived long enough to learn that there are basically two undeniable, irrefutable, unchanging facts of life. 

The first is that the only thing in life that doesn't change is the fact that things are gonna change.

The second is that we all--and i mean every one of us--have one thing in common.  We all have the weirdest, most dysfunctional family on earth.

Let me show you why mine is more weird and dysfunctional than the resta y'alls.

Exhibit A.

My little brother.  Ok, he is not very little.  At 40 years of age, he can still bear hug a washing machine, pick it up out of the bed of a pickup and SET it on the ground.  I think it is fair to say that on our best days, most of us would be lucky to PUSH a washing machine out of the pickup.

Boo is special.  Jerry's kids kind of special. 

The man has FIVE, count 'em FIVE Jack Russell Terriers.  One of them is named Jihad.  Tell ya anything?

He is one of those people that has always grabbed life by the um....tail and given it a good swing.  He has been a surfer dude, an underwater welder, whatever they call those guys that climb the radio towers to fix things, worked clean up in New Orleans during flooding from Katrina, he has done three tours in Iraq (2 military, 1 civi,) one in Afghanistan, and one in Somalia. 

He has always been a hard working, hard playing man, and, as he admitted openly and freely on a news segment interview when asked why he climbed radio towers, "I'm just not right in the head."  He has no filters whatsoever, so you always know just where you stand with him.  And he has one of the biggest hearts you will ever find.

He is one of the funniest, sharpest witted people i have ever met.  I cannot imagine him driving home saying "I should have said....."  Stuff just comes right off the top of his head and out his mouth.  He is like a real life cartoon character.   My children adore him.  Heck, i adore him, i just have to warn the kids that if they ever repeat anything, and i mean ANYTHING their Uncle Boo says, they will be grounded for life. 

When Ellie May was a little bitty thing, maybe 18 months old, i was trying to take a picture of Ellie and Boo, when he convinced her to put her little finger in her little nose.  She squealed with laughter, and a family tradition was born.  Since that time, the first picture, no matter what i do, always involves fingers in noses.  I used to protest and scold and harrumph, but it did no good, the more i got upset the more they laughed.  In time i gave up and learned to embrace the tradition.  It is not something i am proud of, mind you, but i can respect the value of stupid, harmless traditions.  I guess.

In my old age, i have learned to look for the positive in unpleasant or embarrassing situations.  In this case, I am pleased to say that the silver lining is that neither of my children will be able to get a date until they are at least 25, as i am going to produce THIS picture every time they bring home a prospective suitor or girlfriend.  I am so proud.  What mother wouldn't be??

Exhibit B.

The family scuttlebutt the last couple of years is the mausoleum, or as Ellie calls it, the sarcophagus, that one of Paul's brothers has erected in honor of his life's achievements.  Just in case one of us forgot some of it. 

Most of my dad's people are buried in a beautiful little country cemetery here in east Texas, complete with the little white church across the road.  It is a peaceful, lovely place.  Quaint.  Unassuming.  Simple.

If i may be so bold as to quote Addie from the book "Paper Moon," this sarcophagus is "about as inconspicuous as a turd in a punch bowl."  No disrespect intended.  Really.

Anyway, Boo hadn't seen it yet, so i made him promise not to go out to the cemetery until i could go with him.  I couldn't wait to see and hear the first reaction.  And let me tell ya, it was a doozy.  I was not disappointed.  Except in myself.  Don't know what i was thinking.  Shudda made the kids sit in the car.  This is a family story, so i am not going to be able to share the first words out of his mouth with you, but will happily tell it upon request.  How about i just show you a picture....

Exhibit C.

Turns out there are things about my brother that i didn't know.  Seems he loves to shop in truck stops.  Naturally, we all had to indulge him and spend a delightful half hour perusing the offerings of one of the more upscale truck stops i have ever been to....the restaurant was a Lenny's.

Here we find Paul Adeen sporting his Dan'l Boone meets Minnie Pearl look...

...and this one, well, it just speaks for itself, doesn't it?

Exhibit D.

There is another brother.  He never attends these functions.  Apparently we embarrass him.  I just cannot imagine why.

So whaddaya think...is yours as wild as mine?

Maud the Marauder

Apparently Maud has been casing the dairy barn. 

The last three days she has been joining me in the dairy barn when i am milking the senior does.

Uninvited, i might add.  Guess how she is getting in there.  Little barn crasher.

Been hot, so have been working with doors open.

Was thinking she was being friendly.  Then decided she was just trying to learn protocol so that she knows what to do when she is a milky goat.  You know...familiarize herself with milk stand loading and unloading procedures, stand etiquette, how many and what sort of treats are involved, that sort of thing.  But yesterday she started inspecting the door latches.  Scrutinizing, one might say.  Then she jumped up on one of the closed feed barrels, and looked thoughtfully into the open one.  I could see the wheels turning.  I know what was on her mind.  If my back had been to her, she would have been in it.

Now i know she is not just being friendly. 

But i don't see the Big Plan yet.

Am not sure if she is planning a Big Breakout and Cookie Caper, or if it is going to be The Great Grain Heist of 2011.

Either way, i think i am in trouble.

Pray for me.

Silver Jubilee at Queenacres

Congratulations, Susan and Bob. 

Here's to the next 25!!

(p.s.  all the Bob's send their regards, too!)

Meet Bob

Here is where we wound up on the ducky names....

Samuel/Samantha somehow became Isabelle. 

The runt is Bruce (Jenner)

The rest are named Bob.

One of our favorite baby book authors was (is) Sandra Boynton.  Loved every one of them, couldn't pick a favorite.  Turns out, since my babies were babies, Sandra and the Bacon Brothers have put out an album called "Philadelphia Chickens,"  way, WAY fun if you ever run across it.  One of the songs is about the singers pets, and they are all named Bob.  He has a dog named Bob, a cat named Bob, a turtle named Bob, and three hamsters named Bob, Bob, and Bob.  Yes, Mackerel, i know that isn't exactly how it goes, but i am old and infirm, it is late, and everyone gets the idea.

We can't tell whether they are male or female, and aside from the crested one and the runt, they all look alike.  Therefore, they are all named Bob.

This evening we got a couple of dozen baby chicks, all different breeds, some of everything.  And our mama hen has hatched out two chick in last two days. 

One of mama hen's chicks is named Edgar.

Guess what the rest of them are named?

They're Here!! They're Here!!!!

And oh, my goodness, are they ever CUTE!!!!! 

Picked up the Indian Runner Ducklings last nite from Susan, dear Susan.  They are MUCH bigger than i anticipated...have been trying to think of how to describe them to you...they are almost a double handful of yellow fluff with huge ol' feet and a long neck sticking out.  And those beaks!  The beaks are about two inches long, but not yellow yet.  And the eyes.....they just kill me.

The special one?  It's crested.  TOOOO FUNNY!!! That is just going to add to the goofy look when they get older. 

Have taken a couple of pictures.  Will try again to get the pics on here, but you know what a struggle that is for me.  Otherwise, you are gonna have to wait until i get back to Susan's.

Still need to name them.  In keeping with the runner theme, Susan suggested Bruce Jenner, so am thinking one will be Bruce and another Jenny (don't forget we are hoping for females, here.)  Susan also informed me that the Joyner lady was Jackie Joyner Kersey.  And Baas said they used to call Florence Joyner "FloJo."  I was thinking this was a good name for the crested one, but Jethro has named it Samuel, reserving Samantha, if needed.  Not sure why Samuel, but not going to argue.  When Jethro feels strongly about these things, i just go with him.  Even if it looks like a Fro duck to me.

When you scare the duckies, they stretch their necks out and run to a corner of the cage, all of their beaks fitting in about a six inch diameter circle, their bodies fanning out from there.  They just THINK they are making the target smaller.

Took them for a swim in the kiddie pool this afternoon, and they were just hysterical diving and flapping their little winglets.  Did you know that a duckling can drown?  I didn't.  Susan said they get waterlogged.  It isn't until they get their feathers and "waterproof" them with oil from a gland by their tail that they are out of danger of drowning.  The preening is actually spreading the oil to the feathers.  Which would explain why water rolls off a ducks back.

Where Is Calgon When You Need It?

Been a wild couple of weeks around these parts. So insane i haven't even gotten to go pick up my runner duckies yet.  Am missing one of the good parts, but it can't be helped.  Speaking of which, you all know what an avid sports fan i am....not.  I want to name these guys after famous runners, but am having trouble thinking of any, besides Jesse Owens, that is.  What was that Joyner lady's name?  That is the only other one i can think of.  Any help and contribution to the naming of the new duckies would be greatly appreciated.

Immediately following my 48 hours of vice, we had our Sweet City Cousin come visit for a week, and had to bring the hay in.  But you know all that.  I am just going for the effect here, so you will realize how wild it has been.  Then we had the big family family reunion last weekend.  Much to tell as Uncle Randy and his Lovely Bride were there this year, am saving that one for when i have a large cup of coffee and a couple of hours spare.  Will require pictures in order to be fully appreciated.  You will just have to wait.  Trust me, it will be worth it. 

Today we are trying to get Ellie May off on her Big Adventure.  Her girl scout troop has been working toward a trip to Disneyworld the last couple of years, and they leave this Saturday.  I have to get her up north today to meet up with the Sweet City Cousin and her family, as my Most Amazing Woman in the World Sister-in-law is the troop leader and organizer of this event. 

Ellie had a good start in scouting before we moved out here, but we couldn't find a troop in these parts that was a good "fit."  Ellie would attend troop functions when she went to visit SCC, and over the course of a couple of years, became part of the troop.  They are really kind and lenient with her, she makes a lot of the campouts, and we do what we can from here on community service, cookie sales, etc.  Apparently she makes up for all the absence when she is there by working double hard. 

Anyway, we are buzzing around trying to get her ready to go.  Mixed blessing is that she is not a shopper.  Fabulous in the Grande Scheme of things, but a real pain when we have to have a bathing suit and shorts that are suitable for something besides life on the farm.  Think we are about to get her lined out, though.

In the midst of this, the local produce guy called and said he had the first box of canning tomatoes ready for me this season.  Bad timing, but have to take them, or he will start calling someone else....

Then an acquaintance of ours scored some cherry and sweet tomatoes, so i am running those through the dehydrator while i am blanching, skinning and prepping others for the crock pots.

At the same time, am prepping and packaging snacks for the girls road trip, have 5 1/2 pounds of home made beef jerky, five batches of frozen cookie dough to slice and bake, muffins, and marshmallow chocolate cheerio bars.  Thought i made something else....hope i think of it in the next three hours.......

So imagine what a wrench it is in the system when Becky (Ren's progeny, and taking her place as "The Cranky One,") thought the grass looked greener and got her head stuck in the gate.  Bottom rungs.  No clue HOW she did it.  Couldn't find the camera, so that is another one for Whirled Peas.  Had to find tools, and then alter the gate.  In the meantime, my tomato salsa became sauce.  Gonna be Becky sauce if she doesn't straighten up!!

Sound like fun?

Couldn't be half as much fun as Paul Adeen is having.  He is currently Cruise Director for the Big Smokes World Scooter Tour 2011, in charge of fending off paparazzi and groupies, and fetching pie. 

Will explain that one when i have that cup of coffee.   In the meantime, Aloha, Paul, been thinkin' of ya.  You will reap your reward in heaven--you are a better man than i am!!!!!

Ham and Scalloped Potatoes

Have ya missed me?

Well, it has been one crazy week around these parts.  Our Sweet City Cousin came and spent a week with us, during which time the hay was cut and baled.  SCC, along with our favorite family (to be addressed at length very shortly, now that i have decided on appropriate psuedonyms for all of them...Makerel, Breezy, LaWren, CheshireCat, Petite Delicate Flower or PDF, Cbear and The Baas...does this meet with everyone's approval before i put them in ink?) helped us bring in the hay from the field and stow it in it's various spots.  It was a hard days work, but lots of fun.  Don't know if SCC is ever gonna wanna come back to visit again, though. 

The next day we rewarded ourselves with a letterboxing excursion.   Found a couple at a really pretty cemetery, then went to a basket making factory, and then had a picnic in a park.  On the way home we stopped and treated ourselves to some new (used) books at a really groovy bookstore.  And of course a stop for ice cream on the way home was in order.  I think a grand time was had by all.

Anyway, the fun has not stopped yet.  We are on the way down south this weekend for a family reunion, so i am busy preparing for that. 

Which means there is not a lot of time to tell stories. 

So lets see if this will tide ya over.

This recipe came from a friend who got it from a friend who got it from the lady at her second cousin twice removed's sister's church.  Apparently it was used to make massive quantities for church pot lucks or funerals or something.  Who knows.  At any rate, the quantity of the recipe is scary looking.  But here is the thing:  It freezes well.  Very well.  Go to the dollar store and get those aluminum (i know, just don't use them too often) pans that have the lids on them, then, instead of assembling it in one or two big pans, use several smaller ones, serve one that night, and put the rest in the freezer.  I have used this as both side and main dishes.  Ummm...not at the same time.  It is SOOOoooo lovely to be able to pull a pan out of the freezer, put it in the oven, then serve it up.  Especially when it is something everyone likes.


Heavenly Ham and Potatoes Swimming in Gravy and Cheese*

1 lb Ham (or Turkey Ham)
5 lbs Potatoes
1 lb cheese (or more)
2 large onions (or more)
1 stick butter
1/2 c flour
4 c milk
S&P (i omit S, but use lots of P)

Ham--shred in food processor or slice thin and chop a bit
Potatoes--peel, slice thinish, steam until slightly translucent
Onions--recipe calls for dicing but we like it chunky
Butter--melt it and saute the onions to transparent stage
Flour--add to onions and butter to make roux, let simmer 3 - 4 minutes
Milk--add to onion roux slowly, stir continuously, will be a very thick gravy
S&P--add to gravy
Cheese--hang on, i'm coming to that part

Spray your pans and start making layers, thin layers are best. 
Potatoes
Cheese
Ham
Gravy
Potatoes
Cheese
Ham
Gravy
and so on, end with gravy.  Freeze or pop it in a 350 oven until bubbly.

*a recipe that makes this much deserves a long title